| Found in a dark forsaken corner of where I live:
...as I trampled through the banana trees one afternoon, I started getting really hot so I decided to eat some bananas with a monkey, but somehow the monkey fell of the tree and died. And then I was still hot (because eating the bananas with the monkey did not help) so I thought awhile and decided to go through the banana tree forest, and found an old house with an old lady, who lived with a monkey named Bob. "another monkey?", I thought. Well this was definitely strange. The old lady didn't say a word to me but offered me a Nestea and a bubble bath. "this is so awesome!!" I said, even though I hate moneys, Nestea, and bubble baths. I just thought the old lady was really hot and pretty bomb too. But then all of a sudden the monkey started to turn into a pine-cone shaped, flesh-eating rhinomobile. "OH MY GOSH!" This is exactly what happens in my fantasy! So I walked over to the pincone-shaped, flesh eating rhinomobile and I hit it with a pot and ran outside where I saw the exact same thing! Wow, I never knew that dreams really come true. I wanted to talk to the hot old lady so... as to protect her from the pincone-shaped, flesh eating rhinomobile, aka Bob, but to my surprise I found out that the hot old lady was cheating on me with the rhinomobile bamed Bob, "oh woe is me!" I cried because, well, who wouldn't, the old lady was hot. Anyway, I got really mad at Bob so I put on my superhero outfit and raised both my arms up high, not noticing that at the same time my pants were falling down! So there I was with my arms in the air and my pants down around my ankles. But good thing my super hero belt still had some batteries left, my pants were back on! I was ready to fly out of the house, so i jumped but I didn't realize that the monkey (Bob) had chewed up my pants so there was a big hole in my butt. Good thing cuz I had to go to the bathroom so it was actually a facor he did for me. Saved me battery life. I went poop ti the cows came home. So back to the hot old lady (that was her actual name!) She gave me some lemonade but I didn't know where she got it, I didn't see any lemons around. So i asked her where she got her lemons. "From the cows of course" she said. Hm... interesting. Then I saw one cow that was standing there. "Cool" I thought. Anyways, I drank the lemonade and it was worm and steaming! But it was pretty good... besides the odd tastes, add some sugar and it tastes great. The lady asked me "Would you like some cookies? They are sugar cookies." I looked at them they had little brown dots on them. I asked her what they were, she said acorn banana chips. "Yea right" I thought. Suuuure they are. There was no way I was going to touch those, but the lemonade was good... hm, so then I fell down. I mean I like FELL DOWN on my face. My leg must have fallen off or something.. so the hot old lady told Bob "kick this person he/she out, he/she never leaves, geez, he/she is annoying!" So I landed on my back, since I didn't have legs. Wow, I totally got knocked out (by a monkey!) I started seeing stars and buffaloes and dreaming about my legs growing thousands of feet. "I have to get out of here," I thought so I knocked myself back into reality and started rolling out the door like an egg roll but I was too wide to go through the door. "Wide Load!" They kept taunting me and I kept rolling and hitting the door frame over and over. So I asked the lady "could you help me," the old lady got te monkey to pick me up and put me down on top of a banana tree. Thanks a lot... my goodness what am i doing up here?! Then aladdin come on his magic carpet - I think he must've mistaken me and my good loocks for Jasmine. Sure, I could use a ride though I didn't tell him that I was not Jasmine, but shoot, can't he tell that I'm a guy/girl with no legs?? So we flew to Ali Baba and then I got eaten by Razha the Tiger. "This sucks" I said as I was being chewed into little pieces and the king saved me, blah blah blah. I woke up from this dream and saw that actually my legs were still attached, but I couldn't locate my arms (usually they're next to the shoulders) I finally found them in the bathroom cuz my sisterhad borrowed them. what am i?! mr. potato head?! sheesh...
THE END |
